After shorter appearances in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and G.I. Joe: Retaliation, everyone’s favorite Joe, Snake Eyes (Duke and Roadblock are the only acceptable alternative favorites), takes center stage with Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins. The film serves as a vehicle to give the Snake Eyes character a definitive backstory and reboot the entire G.I. Joe film series.
Snake Eyes, which swaps out martial artist Ray Park for Crazy Rich Asians star Henry Goldman to play the title role, takes us back to his days of attempting to join an ancient Japanese clan called the Arashikage and learn more about his past. With the calls for more Snake Eyes answered, how well does his moment in the sun fare on the screen?
Have you ever placed a bowl order at Chipotle and they skimp on the flavorful protein of your choice, but they gave you piles of the bland cilantro-laced rice? That’s the Snake Eyes experience in a nutshell.
We craved a Snake Eyes movie because his combat skills guarantee some cool fights and the film gives just enough of that to whet our appetite in its early stages. While they aren’t the best shot scenes, the martial arts displayed in the initial mob fight are what you come to see – acrobatic and highly improbable in real life. It’s where the film’s flavor lies.
Sadly, those moments are far and few between the rest of the movie. Writers Evan Spiliotopoulos, Joe Shrapnel, and Anna Waterhouse, for reasons only known to them, decided to give more attention to the emotional journey for Snake Eyes’s backstory and it doesn’t work at all.
It’s completely understandable and necessary for there to be some exploration of that space because Snake Eyes is an origin story. It tells us how Snake Eyes became the character we know him as today. However, Spiliotopoulos, Shrapnel, and Waterhouse crafted a story that 1) makes the character a lot less likable and 2) lacks the affecting impact they intended to provide.
A solid third act almost redeems it, but there is far too much lag to recover. It takes what should be a pretty fun movie 90-minute movie and transforms it into 2 hours of a bland honor theme with small scoops of what we wanted.
The one thing the script does get right is the G.I. Joe tie-ins. Despite some pretty big plot holes, such as the lack of origins for Snake Eyes’s combat skills and the timeline in general, Spiliotopoulos, Shrapnel, and Waterhouse make flawless connections from Snake Eyes’s story to the overarching G.I. Joe Universe. It seamlessly sets the table for future G.I. Joe films, but that doesn’t negate the fumble mentioned above.
The failure of Snake Eyes to thoroughly impress is no fault of the on-screen talent. Golding looks surprisingly comfortable and competent, specifically in the physical aspects of his action debut. Filling the shoes of a martial artist of Park’s caliber is no easy task, but Golding more than holds his own in that aspect while effectively giving Snake Eyes previously unseen wit and charm.
Martial arts vets Andrew Koji and Iko Uwais also shine when given the opportunity. Again, those opportunities are limited, even more so in Uwais’s case, because of misguided focus and it’s shameful.
Ultimately, Snake Eyes is the epitome of “what I ordered vs. what I got.” We ordered a movie that finally gave us some background on arguably G.I. Joe’s best and most mysterious character while giving him the screen time he deserves. We got a film that sacrifices what makes Snake Eyes our favorite Joe for filler to unnecessarily make him more human.
It’s not all bad because Snake Eyes is a fun watch when it allows itself to be. The martial arts and artists are top-notch and Golding and Co. are entertaining enough to hold your attention when the script doesn’t restrict them.
Nonetheless, Snake Eyes is only a must-see if you’re a G.I. Joe fan who plans to watch the follow-up films. There is no need to view it in a premium format because it wasn’t filmed in IMAX, nor is there anything special about the sound editing that warrants the extra money for a ticket.
Otherwise, you can roll the dice on something else this weekend.
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